


I Wish I Never Met You

by Wrenny_Fang_03



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: And thankfully he gets one, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Highschool AU, Hurt/Comfort, Logan Angst, Logan Needs A Hug, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 13:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18522088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wrenny_Fang_03/pseuds/Wrenny_Fang_03
Summary: Summary: “I wish I’d never met you…”“Why?”“Because I don’t want to pain you with my death!!”





	I Wish I Never Met You

**Author's Note:**

> Take the warnings seriously, it does have a happy ending but I don't want to trigger an attack out of anyone.

It was late at night when Roman had an urge to call Logan. His logical classmate seemed off all day. He seemed tired and very much like Virgil. Not that it was a bad thing, but it was very out of character for the usually organized and calm man.

Roman tapped his pencil against his desk. If Logan didn’t answer he could probably just barge into his apartment. He did have a spare key and only lived a few blocks away. Logan’s voicemail tone brought Roman back into reality. One more try, he thought.

A shaky voice answered the phone. “R-Roman?”

An aching of concern filled Roman’s gut. “Logan. Hey,” he greeted awkwardly. “How are you?”

“Busy,” Logan answered, voice a little less shaky. “Now if you would excuse me, I must be-”

“I’m gonna stop you there,” Roman interrupted. “You’ve been acting off recently…”

“Roman,” Logan groaned. “I told you I’m busy. I’m very stressed and I have work to do. N-now if you would excu-”

“That’s not gonna work on me, Specs. What’s wrong?”

“Roman! Just let me get my work done!”

“If you’re so insistent on getting your work done then why don’t you just hang up on me?!” Roman questioned.

“Because you’ll either spam me until I answer or you will show up at my apartment and force me to talk to you and/or take a break,” Logan stated in a monotone voice.

“Exactly, so why don’t you answer me? What is wrong.” Roman’s question sounded like a statement. That’s how Done™ he is with Logan’s bullshit.

A growl caught his attention. “Sometimes I wish I never met you,” Logan stated in an angry tone.

Roman gasped. He was used to Logan’s insults, he often responded with his own, but that just hurt.

“Why?” He whispered, unable to mask his hurt.

“Because I don’t want to burden you with my death!” Logan shouted at him. That was one of the few times Roman had heard any type of sadness behind any of Logan’s screams.

“L-Logan, w-what do you mean?” Roman asked in a panic.

“I-I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to h-hear th-that,” Logan was inturrupted by his own sob. “G-Goodbye, Roman.”

“Wait!” Roman shouted, but he was too late. Logan hung up and refused to answer all of Roman’s calls as the theater nerd got dressed and booked it down the street.

Roman sprinted as fast as his legs would carry him. He tripped a few times, scraping up his elbows and knees. Still, he never stopped for more than a minute.

As soon as he arrived to Logan’s apartment building, he threw the doors open, startling a few teens as he hurried up to Logan’s room. Roman fumbled with the key before sliding it into the lock, twisting it, and slamming the door open.

He jogged to Logan’s small bedroom to see Logan at his desk, tears falling down his face, blood falling down his wrists. The nerd looked up, startled by Roman’s panting breaths. “Roman-”

“Oh my god! Logan! W-what happened? W-we need to get you cleaned up! Uh… towel, paper towel. No, washcloth!” Roman rambled as he dashed to the bathroom to grab a warm washcloth and the first-aid kit.

Logan’s sobs grew louder as Roman knelt next to him. The theater geek gently dabbed the washcloth at the deep cuts lining Logan’s wrists. “Roman,” Logan whimpered. “Oh god, Roman. I’m so sorry! I-I-I just-” Logan choked on his own sobs as he bowed his head down and sobbed.

“Hey, Logan, look at me. Please. Thank you. Now, just listen to me. I’m going to get you cleaned up and bandaged up. Then we will get some rest. Neither of us will go to school tomorrow. I’ll text Patton and Virgil and tell them to meet us here. From there we can discuss what led you to this predicament, but for now we are going to focus on getting you cleaned up,” Roman muttered.

Logan’s panicked sobs had devolved into breathless hiccups as Roman cleaned his wounds. It took a few minutes for the bleeding to stop. Thankfully, Roman had enough experience to know what he was doing. Once the bleeding had stopped, Roman spread Neosporin along the wounds with a few clean Q-tips as he laid down a clean strip of guaze on the wounds. He gently wrapped an ace bandage around the nerd’s wrists to keep the guaze and Neosporin in place.

“Hey, Lo, how are you feeling?” Roman asked quietly. He gently brushed his thumb over Logan’s hand.

Logan hummed quietly, still crying softly. He moved his hands to wipe his tears away only to wince and rest his arms back onto his knees. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Logan, it’s okay. Like I said earlier, let’s just talk about it tomorrow. For now I’m going to get us cleaned up, then we can sleep.” Roman stood up, gently urging Logan with him to the bathroom. “Let’s take it one step at a time.”

Logan let Roman clean off his blood soaked skin as he willed himself to stop crying. Once Logan was cleaned off, Roman cleaned himself off. He then brought the two of them back into the bedroom and changed them into pajamas. He made the bed as Logan stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“Lay down, Lo,” Roman urged, guiding the tired boy over to the bed. Logan did as he was told, curling into the warm covers of his bed that he never thought he’d feel again. “Give me a second, Lo. I’m gonna plug your phone in and grab mine, then I’ll join you.”

It was only a moment before Logan was in Roman’s warm embraced. He latched onto the theater nerd’s shirt and let himself think. He thought about how he could have never felt Roman’s arms around him again. He thought about how the last thing he could ever say to Roman would be a yell. He shook at the thoughts of never being able to see or hear or hug any of his boyfriends again.

“Logan, hey, buddy. Lo, calm down,” Roman soothed as he felt the nerd start to shake. “Breathe with me, Lo.” Roman turned over to face Logan as he demonstrated the breathing technique that Virgil had used countless times. “That’s good, you’re doing good,” Roman praised.

Once Logan had stopped shaking he quickly fell asleep curled in Roman’s side. The theater nerd grabbed his phone and shot a quick text to Virgil.

**Prince Overdramatic:** can you tell Pat to come over to Logan’s tomorrow? I have something you two need to know. We wont be at school. 

To his disappointment, Roman got an almost immediate repl. 

**Emo Nightmare:** okay… i feel like i should be concerned. But okay, ill tell Pat in the morning so he doesnt yell at me for being awake. Night, Princey 

**Prince Overdramatic:** thank you, g'night 

Roman sighed and put his phone down. He rolled over and wrapped Logan in a tight hug as he fell asleep. 

\- 

Roman woke up to someone prodding his shoulder. He blinked blearily to find Logan almost completely hidden in the covers, but still curled into his chest. Roman groaned and turned his head around to see Patton sitting at Logan’s desk and Virgil standing over him. 

Roman thanked himself for cleaning up the bloody mess from last night as he sighed. His grip on Logan loosened as he laid on his back to face Virgil. “What’s up?” 

“You called us here, Kiddo. I think we should be asking you that question,” Patton answered. 

Roman sighed. He was nervous for Logan. He sat up and only then did he notice how much Logan had wrapped himself in the soft, galaxy print blankets. Roman swung his legs off the bed and brushed his hands through Logan’s messy hair. The nerd grumbled and clawed at Roman’s hand, barely putting his fingers beyond the safety of the blanet. 

“Logan,” Roman sighed. “You have to get up. Pat and Virge are here.” 

Logan hummed and sat up, the blanket falling away from his shoulders as he rubbed his eyes with his hands. A gasp from Virgil and a whimper from Patton caught his attention. Logan glanced at the bandages on his wrists and immediately pulled the blanket over his head again. 

“Logan,” Virgil muttered, horrified. He gently reached out and brushed over Logan’s back, not suprised to find that the nerd was shaking. “Hey, Logan. I need you to breathe with me, please.” 

It was a moment before Logan brought his head out from under the covers and looked at Virgil with tear filled eyes. He nodded and whispered a rough sounding “okay” as he waited for Virgil’s instruction. 

“Let’s breathe in for four,” Virgil mumbled, maintaining eye contact with the shaking nerd. He signaled at Roman to count for them. After four seconds he gently instructed Logan through the second two steps. “Hold for seven, then we release for eight.” 

After running through the exercise a few more times, Logan was able to breathe properly again, still slightly shaking. “I-I’m sorry,” he whimpered, wiping at his tears. “I’m so fucking sorry.” 

“Logan, Kiddo, it’s…” Patton was at a loss for words because honestly, it wasn’t okay, and it probably wouldn’t be for a while. “We’re here for you, Lo. I hope you know this. It may not be okay, but you do not have to go through this alone.” 

“Pat’s right,” Roman muttered, brushing his hand through Logan’s bangs. “You’ve got some wonderful boyfriends here to help you through this. It may not be okay now, but it will be… eventually.” 

“I can talk to my therapist and get you an appointment,” Virgil added as he and Patton joined the two nerds on the bed. 

Logan nodded and sobbed, he didn’t trust himself to be able to talk. He allowed himself to be catered to the entire day. Atleast it was Friday, he didn’t have to worry about missing more school. 

It didn’t take long for night to roll around. The four of them were at Patton’s house. The emotional boy’s parents allowed them to stay the night in the living room, giving them a lot of space to relax. 

“Logan,” Virgil whispered as he carded his fingers through said boy’s hair. “I know you don’t want to do this, but we need to talk about it.” 

Logan nodded and held down his panicked breaths. He could do this. He had his boyfriends there to support him. “I-I had a rough day,” he began. “The past few weeks have been incredibly stressful. The school district has been loading a lot of work onto us, as a school, without giving us anytime to breathe. I-it became too much. I had been struggling with these urges for a while. Then yesterday I received the grade for a very important test just to see that I got a D. That’s when I began to think that I couldn’t do it anymore. I-I just c-couldn’t fight it anymore!” Logan sobbed into Virgil’s grip. “I couldn’t see a future anymore. I didn’t _want_ a future anymore.” 

“Oh, Logan,” Patton whispered as he rubbed the crying boy’s back. “You know, I get that, but we’re here for you. Just like how you guys were there for me.” 

“I have to agree with the soft puffball. We’re here for you and we always will be. Don’t you forget it, Specs,” Roman sniffled as he rubbed Logan’s hand in a reassuring way. 

“You know, Logan. I get that. I’ve been there and do you want to know what helped me envision a future for myself?” Virgil asked. Logan looked at him expectantly. “The three of you. You guys talked about me at your future events without having to think twice. That’s what made me think that there might be worth something living for. Even if you can’t envision it for yourself, you have us that will be there to help you." 

The four of them had tears streaming down their faces as they set up a Disney marathon. In that moment Logan could see what Virgil meant. The three of them always talked about him in their future withour having to think about. _Yeah,_ he decided. _I can hang on longer, even if it’s just for them._

**Author's Note:**

> Please, if you have any suicidal thoughts, get help from someone you can talk to


End file.
